This is my essay regarding “ThE VoIcEs,” which occurred prior to the onset of ThE TeXtS. The former are phenomena strictly observable by me (beginning Saturday, February 18, 2023) but the latter are real, tangible messages that I received between May and November 2024.
I recognize the subjective, unprovable nature of ThE VoIcEs, however, ThE TeXtS are REAL and originate from my estranged lover. (Henceforth referred to as “Petitioner.”) At one point, she made a mistake and sent damning, libelous allegations about me – along with provocative “deepfake” images of me – to my close friend & confidant using her personal phone number.
Saturday, February 18, 2023 was the first day that I ever heard voices in my mind from which the source could not be identified. Before this day, I had limited spirituality and no belief whatsoever in things like Astral Projection or Remote Viewing, practices which are taught at the Monroe Institute in Faber, Virginia, and practiced by federal agencies, including the CIA.
Prior to these events, I had no psychiatric history whatsoever. I had not even been inside an ambulance.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2023
Around 1 in the afternoon, I was taking a bath on the second floor of a duplex I rented on Marsden Street in Jamaica, Queens, NYC. I heard the voice of an official-sounding male with a southern drawl indicating that my house was about to be raided. It sounded like it was coming from someone outside, possibly across the street. Over the next 12 hours, I assumed I was involved in a standoff with the police/law enforcement, and I yelled out responses to them. I did not call 911, since I figured they were already nearby.
TUESDAY, MARCH 14, 2023
Around 3 in the afternoon, I heard the voice of my ex-boss threatening to kill me. The voice seemed to be coming from the other side of the duplex. The building had thin walls, so it seemed rational. Fearing for my life, I fled out a second-story window into the adjacent duplex. From there, I called the police. When they arrived, they insisted that I go in an ambulance for a psychiatric evaluation, since I was “hearing voices.” I was taken to Jamaica Hospital, where the intake staff declined to admit me. I was determined to be lucid and not insane, and released in an hour.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15, 2023
Around 6 in the morning, I again heard the voice of the southern lawman, this time seeming to originate from the basement, where a separate tenant lived. Feeling empowered by the previous day’s “victory,” I called 911 again. This time, I was disheveled and when I went to the hospital, they chose to admit me. This was my first time being locked in a psychiatric ward.
Over the next 18 months, I would be seen or admitted another ~15 times to various psychiatric facilities, including Sinai West in Manhattan, Jamaica Hospital, Queens General, and Elmhurst Hospital in Queens, Long Island Jewish Hospital-Northwell in Lake Success, NY, and Zucker-Hillside Hospital in Glen Oaks, NY. The lengths of those interments ranged from 3 hours to ~3 weeks.
Each time, it was because I called 911 to report threatening/harassing words coming at me from unknown sources. The voices I heard generally belonged to the southern lawman, although I would occasionally hear my mother’s voice and the voice of my ex-boss.
MAY 2024
Beside myself with grief, I thought I was losing my mind, but I knew what I was experiencing was real. I began confiding in my social network, posting publicly about these perceived hallucinations. I found some sympathy from friends, but no real answers.
Coincidentally, around this time, my smart home and electronic devices began behaving in an unusual manner. At one point, I found a private IP address (10.1.48.1) present on my home network that did not correspond to any of my devices. A Verizon technician was called out, and to our surprise, the private address – which should NOT have been reachable over the public internet – could be ping’ed directly from the network terminal on the side of the duplex, bypassing my router and all other owned equipment.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2023
By this point, I was being seen in a Comprehensive Psychiatric Emergency Program (CPEP) at various hospitals at least twice a month. I live alone, and do not have many close friends. I have a 14-year-old feline, Cali, whom I look after. Fearing that the next interment would go on long enough to jeopardize her wellbeing, I reached out to a former lover, Katherine Leigh Batilla (“Petitioner”) who lived about a half hour away in Westbury, NY. I advised her that I was potentially facing an extended hospital stay, and wanted to know if she knew of any animal rescues that could help in the event of a worst-case scenario. She urged me to get Cali current on her shots and offered to reach out to her contacts in the community.
Coincidentally, around this time, I started hearing Petitioner’s voice. I had long since dismissed the theory that these voices were coming from somewhere on-premise at the duplex. It now appeared as if the voices were coming through the ether.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2023
Petitioner’s voice beckoned me to board a train out towards her village. I rode the Long Island Rail Road out to Merillon Avenue in Garden City. There, I called Petitioner and asked if she could pick me up, as I was having a crisis. I made no mention of the voices to her. She arrived quickly, loading my kickscooter into the backseat of her Toyota Highlander. We had not seen each other in 19 years, and our reunion was hastened. Ultimately, I asked her to drop me off at the Emergency Room of Long Island Jewish Hospital-Northwell in Lake Success. When we arrived, we said goodbye, but I did not go inside the ER. Instead, I rode my scooter through Hollis Hills, feeling as though I was being chased by spirits who were playing a game called “Witches and Warlocks,” the prize was Petitioner’s heart.
At one point, the voices commanded me to lay down, motionless. I wanted to win this game, so I did as I was told, laying down in an easement in front of a house. Someone called 911 to report my presence, and when the ambulance arrived, I remained willfully catatonic. They drove me back to LIJ-Northwell, where I was taken to the medical ER and eventually scuttled into the psychiatric ER. From there, I was admitted to the Zucker-Hillside Psychiatric Hospital for roughly a week.
Knowing that Cali would not survive the extended lapse in feeding, I called Petitioner from inside the hospital. She picked up my house keys from the psychiatric facility and rescued Cali from my unoccupied duplex. Petitioner took Cali to an animal rescue, where she remained until July 2024. Cali is back with me, now.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2023
Finally released from Zucker-Hillside, I called Petitioner to collect my house keys. We met up at the train station in Mineola, NY. I thanked her and gave her a hug. This is the last time we would see each other, though we would seemingly continue to communicate telepathically for the next year.
I continued being admitted to psychiatric facilities, the longest being at Elmhurst Hospital in Queens for over 2 weeks in September 2024.